IEP and TMK

So today was Patrick's IEP for the Early On program that he is in.  For those of you not familiar with what that is, I will give you a quick summary.  It is an Individualized Education Program.  Basically this is a legal document stating what special services your child should receive and why.  It's tailored for your child's individual needs.  So therapists, teachers, etc, evaluate the child and come together with the parents to design a plan based on your child's strengths and weaknesses.  As a team you discuss what are some of the things that you would like to see the child doing in a given time and set goals.  That is a VERY brief summary of what happens.  These meetings can sometimes be short, but a lot of the time can be lengthy due to everyone discussing the child's needs.

This can sometimes be a stressful event for parents.  Making sure your voice is heard and speaking up for what's best for your child.  For me, these meetings always left me sad afterwards.  Not because of the people doing them with me, they were always great.  But because it's hard to sit and listen to all the things that Patrick isn't doing, or what age level he is currently at with his motor skills, simple things that most of us take for granted.  For example, one of his goals is holding a toy for 30-45 seconds.  Such a simple task for us, but yet those are the things that a lot of parents have to work on with their children.  It can become overwhelming to sit and talk about all those things and then to look at him and his sweet little face and realize he just doesn't know any different.  It would sometimes make me feel down afterwards.  But it's getting a little easier each time, because we are seeing progress in him, because of all of these wonderful people.  So today, I actually felt pretty good afterwards.  

Another aspect of the IEP process that I learned a lot from, was seeing things from the other side of the table.  I was always on the teachers side, as a general Ed. teacher, but now I had a new understanding for the parents sitting across from me.  Not that I didn't try to understand them before, but now, I truly knew how they felt.  That is invaluable!

So on those nights after the IEP's, or therapies, or appointments when I just had a hard time, when my heart just kind of ached for Patrick, there was a HUGE support system around us that we could turn to.  But the one who understood me the most was Tim.  He is by far my rock and the one who balances me out.  I am the one who worries, he is the one who assures me.  I am the one who can be irrational, he is the one....dare I say....that can be rational (although I am sure there are a few college buddies that might beg to differ).  But let me also point out that this is for situations regarding our family....at no point when I mention his good points does it have anything to do with his handling of:  the Tigers, Pistons, Red Wings, sports in general, concerts, political conversations, anything that happened in Kalamazoo from 2001-2006, Tom Hanks Day in the back of a Chicago cab, etc. etc....

I have to say that having a child with a disability, illness, etc. it is so vital to have a support system, which we got lucky with that one!  We truly have amazing people surrounding us and we will talk about all of them on here.  But the most important to Tim and I are each other.  When Patrick was first diagnosed, I remember crying to Tim in the car.  All I saw for Patrick were the worst case scenarios, a lifetime of doctors appointments, IEP's, never fitting in, getting stares from strangers, not knowing if he would walk or talk or do anything.  But Tim was so calm and just said, "Annie, he is going to have a great life, because we will make sure of it.  He will be happy and he will never know any different."   He was so right!  All we cared about was at the end of the day, was he happy today?  Did we make him smile?  That's it.  

So on those days when I am having a hard time, and when I say that, I mean days when I see a kid Patrick's age running through the store or talking to their mom, and I wish Patrick could do it, Tim is the one who turns me around.  He is the one who says, he is just as happy as those kids, watching his iPad or just laughing in his stroller at something and we have no clue what it is.  He is a happy kid.  

I am so incredibly grateful for an amazing husband, who always puts my needs first, always tries to take the stresses of life off of me, keeps being nice to me when I am being stubborn or incredibly crabby(and if you know me well enough, that is a tough job).  With all the great things he does for me, it truly shows our kids how a husband should treat a wife.  He is an amazing father who is adored by all 3 of his kids.  I actually joke with him that Avery likes him more(which I am perfectly ok with).

People ask me often why we didn't start dating sooner, to which I say I was way to cool for him.  But seriously, timing is everything and neither one of us would change that.  It's made us who we are today and I am so grateful for the man, father and husband he is!!  I am truly lucky to have him to share this journey with!!

Ok, Ok....enough of the mushy stuff...he's not that perfect....he wears his work socks with basketball shorts, he wears the socks they give you in the hospital out in public, he won't get rid of any of his tshirts, he snores, and he doesnt like cheese(weirdo).  I heart you TMK!!

So I vowed to write everyday this week for PKS awareness week, so I will!!  After Friday, I will probably do a couple times a week.  Thanks so much for all of your support and keep sharing our blog.  Our goal is to make PKS as well known as possible!!!